he god’s silence is less excruciating when you light a prayer in thy name

and he sets the votive candles for the service,

amen.

two-one-two-one-two-one-one-one-one

and she lives in the han

a delicate yet still in despair grasp of life and carrying it along in places I go.

what you left behind is rarely equivalent of what you have ahead, and everybody read that different.

March 24, 2023
January 10, 2022

Light a cigarette in thy name

mind and body deforming, becoming more aligned with your surroundings, in exchange of losing what makes you, you.

unless, you have the strength to form again

Carl Eldh’s August Strindberg

and my aesthetic experience

Self-Portrait at 344 DS1 Ligota

Soul clenching, sinking, vaporizing, obscuring, rigidifying, darkening, suffocating and killing. Unless… Unless.

Is there a feeling or a thought you are trying to avoid? Imagine yourself in the back of this tram, climbing the hill, away from the town, and deal with that thing you are avoiding. Make sure none is left by the time you go back down!

June 27, 2021

tubing to somewhere you won’t find me

Seemingly together yet distanced like strangers.

Taking a chance in streets, making the effort to find something that’s worthwhile…

I ran into two gentlemen dressed in 40s attire in 20s Stockholm and they were kind enough to pose for me.

as long as you arrive ready to the moments life throw you to, you’ll know where to head next. always.

Is the light to, or is the light from…

Children.

You’ll never catch me not on the move, and you’ll never catch me with bad music.

Who will the metro take away now?

Cramped up in the littlest corners we can find, living the city life, as if we want to be unseen for ever and ever. But I see you.

These pipes once connected the water supply of an entire city and surely there is something between you and I that keeps us connected through time and distance.

And it flows just fine.

Portraying melancholy through famous places as I tend to do, take a look at Prague’s Charles Bridge the way I saw it.

The very thing that leads me down, leads them up.

Imperfect, unsymmetrical, neglected in so many ways. Yet, so full of character for the same reasons above.

Lonely in the presence of people, lonely with her red soul in a world of black, living through times which don’t make as much sense as before. Took the next tram and disappeared back to her own reality, and left me thinking.

Which way will you go?

Disallow the suppressants from cutting your mind’s flow and gravitate freely to where your soul wants to.

Yes I am.
Lonely in the presence of someone,
Lonely with friends,
Lonely without,
I am.

Strangers walk by, right and left and right again,
They speak always Italian but sometimes not,
And I sit here unnoticed,
Facing the Palazzo Serristori,
With its’ post rain orange color, buried in green.

It rained today,
And my chest aches with stress,
But I don’t know why,
This summer rain made me sick,
Although I liked the breeze on my neck.

I am lonely for nothing yet everything,
I am lonely because I saw you again,
Couple days ago in Paris,
Strangest place to meet, years apart,
And you still managed to cut off my breath.

I must leave soon, I am aware.
I must act on my heart,
It is always the heart I forget,
Yet it is always the heart, which is the answer,
A heart, forever beating for you, until not.

Can Kalay

A night painted life on four wheels, and don’t mind the balloons.

January 17, 2022
September 6, 2021

The only place hotter than İzmir, in İzmir.

Built in 1834, the Haktanır Pide Fırını is İzmir’s first ever bakehouse.

Almost every night-out ended in this very place, and we waited for the 657N or the famous 12 to take us back to Ligota. Then we took it one last time and never returned.

or unless?

June 27, 2021

Beautifully preserved, 65 years old DeSoto Firedome 1956. Now busy marrying off Warszawa couples.

We might’ve, and I mean you and I, have peeked through the opening between the same set of branches, but trust me when I say, we didn’t see it the same.

Perfect versus imperfect, still undeniably red.

Finding beauty in the dance of two unsynchronized gates, bodies and souls. Loving life as one big imprecise chaos, and you will find a way to sync.

Wash the sins of this city, building by building, wash it all away.